August: Future Plans, Summer Blues and Self Reinvention

On Post-18 plans, summer regrets and reinventing myself for the new quarter

Sep 25, 2025

This may contain: many different pictures are hanging on the wall

Every summer, I write on my notion what I’ve accomplished during the holiday. It’s been my tradition for the past 3 years - I have not done it this year. I forgot, I’m also writing this article in September at university with two assignments waiting to be completed.

August was an eventful month. For starters, I got my A-level results and I’m doing my first choice course at my first choice university. I also went to my first Christian festival and that was really cool too, camping was not.

I had a great summer and I am so grateful for it, but I also feel a sense of melancholy. It’s over. It’s really over. I’m entering adulthood and yes there is excitement there, but I also find myself mourning the anticipated end of my childhood. It hit me when I was staying at my uncle’s house, a summer tradition since I could remember, my cousins and I were discussing our summer plans; internships, universities, placements. When we were younger we used to talk about the future all the time. How we would go to the same universities and share a flat, drive a car and live together - these were our dreams, our hopes. Now, whilst we aren’t living them - we’re at the stages of life we used to dream of - and we’re doing well. It’s quite exciting to think that to an extent - I’ve made my younger self proud, even myself a year ago. But now I can’t help but think, whilst I’m welcoming the new, I’m saying goodbye to the old. The familiar.

My summers used to consist of hide and seek games, secret trips to Asda, exploring the woods, riding bikes down hills. Late night Netflix binges, sleepovers and train rides to neighbouring towns and/or cities excited to be without parental supervision. Now, I’m learning to drive, my cousins have cars of their own, we can go to the cinema whenever we want, floating in and out of the house when we please, no one hounding us about bedtimes or getting enough sleep. No one hounding us to wake up on time, going to church is now a choice, not an obligation. I didn’t think I’d miss it and to be honest, it’s not the accountability I miss, I think I’m starting to feel the pressures of self regulation and discipline. Now that there is no one telling me to get up early or do my laundry - it’s now my responsibility to do all of this for myself.

I also find myself thinking about self reinvention, reconstructing myself into the ‘cool girl’ archetype. My sister and I were at home and she said to me “Hannah, now that you’re going to university you know that you can completely reinvent yourself”. I can present myself as completely different. I’d like to think I’m cool and interesting without the help of a brown leather jacket, a brown Longchamp, brown suede puma palermos and mixed colour French curl braids. Whilst I put all this pressure on myself about looking the part - I now have what I always wanted and no one cares - maybe this is an issue I’ll delve into in my September entry.

To conclude, here is a list of things I did this summer:

Completed some work experience programmes
Went to my first music festival
Glamped for the first time
Tried Blank Street Matcha
Got into University
Hosted my first in-person book club event
Started learning how to drive
Read some books
Bought more books than I read
Made some new friends
Went to the cinema twice
Hung out with my cousins
Went to a party

In my first entry of the new school year, I wrote about wanting to enjoy my youth this school year and enjoying it to the fullest.

This year, I’m going to live by this scripture. I’m not going to be young for long; I’m going to try to have as much fun as possible and enjoy my life while praying for a Christian friend group alongside the friends I already have. I think I had quite a bit of fun in my junior year; however, I spent so much of it worrying, thinking my worrying would pay off, and it didn’t. I’m finding contentment in the present because the future is unknown.
- Me, 2024